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Message from Rutherford Hall Archives, Critical Communication Strategists
Stephen from Whatsapp: You have to jump out to Riyadh. Saudi Arabia is furious that Qatar stole a march on them with a $400 million jet for Donald Trump. We need to calm them down. The MBS Chief of Staff is also sought some suggestions for what they can give to the President. I don’t think Rolex will cut it anymore. In the meantime, I will be here. I’m still waiting for membership at Riyadh Golf Club.
From:rutherford@monkwellstrategy.com
To: cos@mbs.gov.sa
Congratulations to my dear prince on a brilliantly carried out visit to the President. In hindsight I recognize your concerns. Qatar certainly blinded us all with the president’s plane offer, but I like to think we can come up with something if you were referring to a gift budget of that size.
But to be honest, I don’t worry too much. You are not in a small, Hamas hosting, arriving, trying to buy influence. You are the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Gifts are culturally important, but I think Qatar meant itself lightly. Plus, you put him on a defence contract hat.
I’m in Riyadh on Thursday so I hope we can talk in person.
Best Rutherford
Strava, Comcidenham Hill, Brighton 3 hours 04m from London, Aljubailer/Bodaloop – 42 minutes
Support for two world-leading children’s hospitals: gofundme.com/tickettoriyadh
We live in an era of inflation, and thanks to Qatar’s jumbo jets, the price of influence shot. The bottom line is that it will cost more to buy the president now, but at least we know the price. You cannot escape the perfect work bound in Shakespeare’s leather. In any case, President Trump is not interested, at least until Shakespeare has his own podcast.
We cannot compete with Jumbo and while Western companies are still bound by the Anti-Corruption Act, we feel it is being relaxed in DC. So, look for what you have, that may be important. Can you make your all your company cars Teslas? Is there space on your board for playing cards kids? It’s not just Ivanka. Think about Eric too.
That’s why I think Qatar weakened itself with such a huge gift. It makes them look too poor and we prefer to be subtle anyway.
From:rutherford@monkwellstrategy.com
To: cos@mbs.gov.sa
got it. Message received. Create some options. In the meantime, how do you feel about our quietly fuelling media campaigns for Qatar’s gifts? We don’t think we can be embarrassed about Trump. However, it can make Qatar uncomfortable and discourage others.
At the very least, you can compete if you want. Europeans are really struggling right now. I think Macron gave him a tree once, and it’s already dead. Keir Starmer appeared in a tartan cap. This is tragic. Although at least the priority was to have an invitation for Royal Experience Day. Frankly, the only thing Europe has to offer now is Greenland.
Still, political leaders need to raise the game if they don’t want to be a roast of live television in an oval office.
I don’t recommend it, but if you want to match Qatar, what about the presidential yachts? There are still some good bargains that have been reclaimed from the Russian oligarchs. Hit some gold fixtures and replace the H on the helipad with a T.
If we want something bigger but something a little more subtle, I wouldn’t realize that the Saudi Arabia doesn’t have a Trump golf course. We all know that everyone is giving golf gifts, but they do better than gold-plated clubs. Why not offer a major portion of your real estate to the Kingdom’s Trump International Course? Real estate is talking to him and can also host the Saudi Arabian Leg of the Live Tournament. That means stealing the Riyadh golf club. This is a shame considering how wonderful Riyadh’s intentions are.
And this can be dressed up as a collaboration, so it doesn’t look more naked than a Qatar jet. Also, can you name the public square after him? He’ll love it. The man blows his name off like a dog with a street lamp.
Rutherford
Find me. . .
From:rutherford@monkwellstrategy.com
To: cos@mbs.gov.sa
Ah, it’s very kind. I didn’t imply about Riyadh, but I’m excited to play my first round there. The best Rutherford
Find me. . .
Whatsapp to Stephen: I think I should come out here more often on the 18th. Business gifts. There’s definitely a place for them!
Whatsapp to Stephen: Has Catalis contacted us to manage this story in the western media? Is there a conflict of interest there? What do they offer? Do they have a good golf course?
Message retrieved by Robert Elimsley
