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If we’re looking, this column was written by Jerry Seinfeld or Tony Soprano. Or a combination of the two, but I don’t know if Tony Seinfeld will hear enough horrifying sounds to cut it in the New Jersey mob.
People have always been aware of social cachets in their cultural choices. So, what does your viewing and subscription habits say about you? To be clear, I’m talking about mainstream channels here. You know what your only fan sub is saying.
So who are you? Are you a Paramount Plus type? Or maybe a Disney fan. Maybe you’re only in season 13 of Gray’s Anatomy, so you’re still going through 700 episodes, so you’re holding that empty subscription.
There is no longer a unified community of television that exists when there were only a handful of channels. You once could be convinced that almost everyone like you saw the same show and understood the same references. This is why generations of Gen X or Boomer men offer all the renditions of Python sketches the moment the keyword is uttered. Is there anyone fool enough to observe that the Spanish Inquisition deserves torture by reminding them that its main weapon is surprise and fear, and ruthless efficiency?
Word of mouth, or Tiktok’s words, today, are even more important. But how many streaming services are you ready to pay? If you see a show that interests you, it’s pretty easy to join and cancel. However, it’s also pretty easy to forget to cancel.
So, what does your choice say about you? Netflix says that for some reason, despite complaining that, except for reruns and movies of Jason Statham, there’s never what you want to see, but for some reason, it’s relatively little.
I think I’ll take a look as an Amazon Prime subscription probably means you paid a free priority postage. I also like being able to watch only one of the European soccer matches.
Disney+ means you have small children or essentially still have small children. Disney+ and childless adults are obsessed with superhero series and Star Wars spin-offs. You’re ridiculously excited about the new Avengers movie. Or you’re once nicked your password from a friend, watching a Beatles documentary, sticking to it, telling you to just hold it and see the bear.
A commitment to Paramount Plus means you are a soap opera sucker about the earth’s nonsense rancher, Grizzle, old, salt. Or oil players fighting bureaucrats, regulators, lawyers and environmentalists are threatening their way of life. Maybe that’s a bit unfair. There is also a series about the good old salts of the Earth’s gangsters, whose way of life is threatened. Paramount Plus is a channel for men who miss Westerners. It is essentially a channel for everyone thinking about voting reform in the upcoming election and Light Entertainment’s GB News, a channel for those who secretly suspect Jeremy Clarkson is the left.
Currently, TVs are for people who don’t want to carry them with an empty subscription, and they don’t realize that it’s actually cheaper to do it.
Recommended
Getting Apple TV+ during the pandemic and the fact that four good shows are distributed evenly throughout the year prevents cancellation.
Discovery Plus has everything you like especially cycling, but it’s not enough to justify your subscription, so it’s mainly for those who don’t mind spending. Channel 4 is the saddest service as it exists only for those who want to re-watch the program from when Channel 4 is still good.
ITVX is primarily for those who feel a short change with just two hours of Love Island content. As for iPlayer, it’s the BBC and you could have paid it anyway, so even annoying the telegraph can give you a quick skim.
Oh, and if you’re actually watching any of these on your TV, I regret letting you know you’re not young anymore.
Email Robert to MagazineLetters@ft.com
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