To protect the office Christmas party

Welcome to Working It. I’m Bethan Staton, FT’s deputy editor for jobs and careers. This week has been a busy week for the FT.

On Monday, the FT and Schroders Business Book of the Year Awards, recognizing the best nonfiction of 2024, took place. I highly recommend Winner. Parmy Olson’s Supremacy depicts the conflict between the founders of artificial intelligence pioneers Open AI and Google Deepmind. This is great. A fascinating and sometimes alarming study of two people who will have a huge impact on our future, making you think about the concentration of power in technology. The other shortlisted books you can read here are also worth a look.

Last night was also the FT staff Christmas party. I’m not proud to admit that I left work early, I think it’s more insensitive than responsible, but I’m glad I was able to catch up on the gossip with a fresh head today.

Read below for more thoughts on seasonal socializing and how to do it if you’re a manager.

the most wonderful time of the year

There’s more than one way to throw an office Christmas party. Some dig out their best velvets and sequins and toast their company’s success with true celebratory joy. Some use up the free bars and gossip with disgruntled co-conspirators. Some people avoid it completely. Why spend your free time unnecessarily with people you have to sit next to from 9 to 5?

With all due respect to my misanthropic readers, I’m pro-Christmas party. You don’t have to be a live-and-work type to enjoy them. Interacting with colleagues adds a dimension of fun, care, and connection to the time we spend at work. In the best cases, it means building meaningful relationships that go beyond KPIs and fostering a sense of community and camaraderie.

“These are great activities for building social bonds, and they can bring people closer together by knowing a common reality,” says science writer David Robson. According to him, activities adjacent to festive events such as dancing, singing, eating and drinking create “neural synchronization” between people, increasing intimacy and trust. “Neurologically speaking, our brains work the same way. The lines between self and other become blurred.”

Is it really what it means to squeal “all I want for Christmas is you” with your sales team? . . Transcendental? Robson pointed me to a body of research that suggests this is not far-fetched and that neural synchronization leads to deep social connections. This partly explains why I like karaoke, but it also helps in the office. “You’re paying attention,” Robson says. “You’re less likely to have misunderstandings between yourself and your colleagues.” One German study found that employees who synchronized their exercise together took less sick leave and experienced less work-related stress. .

But things get even more complicated when dealing with workplace politics and hierarchy. Katie Best, a leadership coach and visiting fellow at the London School of Economics, says one of the challenges of entering a management role is recognizing that boisterous bonds with colleagues may no longer be appropriate. He says it’s something to do. If you’re leading a team, she says, Christmas parties are “more aimed at junior staff and don’t mean much to you.” Those in positions of authority and trust should be mindful of keeping their hair down, even if their staff is letting it down.

That means senior leaders should be a little more cautious in their approach to company Christmas parties and refrain from getting too wild. “Unless someone is doing something extremely inappropriate, be enthusiastic and don’t judge others,” says Best. “You should definitely quit before you get into trouble. Your staff doesn’t want you to be put in a taxi.”

She can think of some exceptions to this rule. It’s a charismatic executive with a reputation for partying, who enjoys deep goodwill and has natural authority. Unfortunately, these are the minority (she knows literally 2 people). So no matter how “cool” you think your boss is, it’s safe to assume that you’re not one of the few people who can get away with pushing them around.

That doesn’t mean senior staff shouldn’t show a different side during board meetings. According to Best, Christmas parties are “a good opportunity for managers to reveal a little bit of themselves,” and by revealing a little bit about what’s really going on in their lives, for better or worse, they can connect with their colleagues more humanly. It may be possible to build a relationship.

Robson named this phenomenon the “beautiful confusion effect”. I immediately think that this is not an approach that many senior leaders aspire to, but he assures me that it’s about reliability, not glamorous disaster. “When a leader shows embarrassing vulnerability, people want to see the human side, which increases loyalty,” he added. “Where you put the boundaries is very personal.”

This week’s Working It Podcast

As it’s the peak of Office Christmas Party Week*, we’re returning to a classic episode of our podcast, writes Isabel Barwick. Guests Stephen Bush and Viv Grosskopf, both party veterans, tell us how they got through it (clue: it’s all about pre-loading carbs) and what to do when everything goes very wrong. .

*Maybe I should have listened to this episode before attending the FT’s own Christmas party last night. At least I didn’t make everyone dance this year .

Dear Jonathan

Problem: My student’s child is going home for Christmas this weekend, and I’m not sure how to proceed with the conversation about his career path after graduating from university. I don’t think they’re even trying to get a job, and do you think they realize how competitive it is out there? But if I hector, they will leave. What should I do?

Jonathan Black’s advice: After returning students catch up on sleep, the first thing to do is find out why they aren’t working on what you think is an essential task. Be careful not to share your concerns with the other person. The situation will escalate.

They may not be attracted to it because they think it’s pointless (“I don’t have a job anyway”). Maybe it’s because they don’t know what they want to do yet, or maybe they’re anxious about the process and afraid of failure. Regarding this last point, I’m sure you’ve heard many stories from friends about how they applied to 100 jobs and only got one interview. All of these are valid reasons to lack enthusiasm for the process and continue living in the present.

Find out what they’re worried about and try some examples of anecdotal ‘evidence’. The majority of graduates find some kind of job after graduating from university. It may not be the exact job they want, but it’s unlikely to be their last job and they’ll move on eventually.

If you don’t want to get involved for fear of failure, you might be fine with not applying (who wants to be among the 139 people who fail out of an average of 140 job applications?) But It might be interesting if you start collecting experience. Demonstrates all-important ’employability skills’.

Employers tend to be risk-averse and can demonstrate that they perform a role that requires them to show up to work on time, stay all day/shift, follow instructions extensively, and show some initiative. I like to hire people. Students can do this through volunteer work, organizing student groups or part-time roles in cafes/supermarkets/warehouses etc.

By the time students graduate, the job market may have changed, and they will have more experience to speak of and the ability to demonstrate important skills. They may still choose not to apply for a permanent job, but the barriers to doing so may be lower.

They may also have figured out what they want to do and, just as importantly, what they don’t want to do . If relatives around the Christmas table would like to participate, they can introduce people in roles they might be interested in so students can at least talk about the job. Before you know it, a previously depressed student may be more willing to meet people, develop some skills, and feel a little more in control.

Jonathan Black is Director of Employment Services at the University of Oxford. For any career dilemmas, email dear.jonathan@ft.com.

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One more thing. . .

How do we balance the promise that technology can reduce harm with the risk that our lives will become more monitored and restricted? This thoughtful article in the New York Times explores some of the difficult trade-offs involved. It highlights that. The magazine reports on an AI system that could prevent teen suicide by alerting authorities to concerning language online. Lives could and likely have been saved, but unnecessary intervention and surveillance has left some young people traumatized and in doubt.